Intimations with the Sea

     After I shared with my friend my recent road-trip and island-hopping in Quezon last Good Friday, unbeknownst to me, he just laid one big fact that I have already circled two ends of the Pacific Ocean.  That's within a five-month span.  The first one was during my trip to San Francisco.  When I heard that, I was nonchalant then, but I knew deep in my heart that there's a bigger reason I was brought here, right at this place, on October 25th, 2007.   

Friends of mine would think I'm one damn lucky person for having traveled without really spending anything (an understatement).  I have traveled far and wide, yes, but little did they know that this family trip was also a spiritual journey of mine.  I have had several intimate  experiences of that alone and my interaction with others.  I want to honor that now that I'm still sane.

      If my first view of the bursting of the waves in the above pics show, truly there were many times in my life I have been pushed around by external forces of guilt, shame and inadequacy beyond my control.  I went through all the tough times of wanting to be accepted but myself.  I have been shut off, put down, ignored, demoralized, abused by others, and sometimes there were self-inflicted wounds that won't heal.  I have been laughed at, been called all sorts of names.  They have somehow regained controI over the first 25 years of my life.

      Your opponents seemed to speak different voices, but these voices tell you one thing: they want you to feel inferior more than them and they want you to self-destruct. 

      That won't happen in my case.  I may have committed the same old mistakes, but one thing is for sure, I'd strive to be better.  One has many chances to correct oneself and even if it will take me a lifetime to stand up for my convictions, I shall do it.  I have half a dozen stories why my life have been saved (near accidents, sickness, thoughts of suicide, etc) by a Higher Being. The deep appreciation that I'm still alive is enough cause for me to live. I know hundreds of people who have worked their way by giving off themselves and I want to thank these people, those who have touched me and those who will.  I will post some stories about you at a later time. 

       Ironically, the onrushing currents at a San Francisco seashore was one unforgettable scene.  I caught a man standing (if you can, please maximize the second picture) along the sturdiest of all foundation, with his dog in tow, looking at the horizon in a meditative gaze.  This is no different from the calm and reassuring sea I saw in Quezon Province last Good Friday.   We will come full circle at some point wherever we are, whether by land, or by the two ends of the biggest ocean that is the Pacific.  By then, I'll be ready for you.